Nano 4

‘You’ll be in the mermaid tank at three today, I’m afraid,’ Katya said, consulting a long list of names and the schedule of performances for the day. She patted Iris on the shoulder in mock sympathy. ‘Mind you don’t lose the shells.’

Iris shrugged, bad-tempered, and headed out of the crowded field of tents, into the adjoining one where men were already busy setting up the tanks and sets. It was soon after sunrise, in the cool hour before the sun had properly risen, and the last chill of the previous night lingered in the fields. The smell of burnt porridge mingled with the scent of wet grass and washing.

‘I’m helping out with the mermaid performance today,’ someone said shyly from behind. Iris turned, shrugged, and looked back in front.

‘Thank you,’ she said curtly.

The boy cringed behind her, and stepped back. She felt the slightest twinge of guilt, but pushed it away in her irritation. Jonas was only Jonas after all; she didn’t have to feel guilty about not liking him. Everyone knew she didn’t like him, even he knew she didn’t like him, but everyone, including Iris, knew that he was madly in love with her. She couldn’t blame him for falling for her, much as he couldn’t blame her for not liking him. It worked that way, always did, and she was glad with the arrangement. She reckoned that he did too, though she occasionally wondered – when she was feeling annoyed with herself – whether she was a bit too hard on him.

The performance that afternoon went smoothly, mostly watched by screaming children and their families. Iris had nothing to complain about – the water wasn’t too cold, the weather was fine, nothing had snagged painfully in her long hair, the stupid shells didn’t fall off, and Jonas avoided her all afternoon…

‘Here’s the girl eh?’ A large oily hand gripped her shoulder. She pushed it off roughly and turned to face the man. He grinned at her, showing exceptionally neat white teeth.

‘May I help you, sir?’ Mum had told her to be polite, always polite, to whoever spoke to her. She took several steps back all the same, putting as much distance as she could from the man without treading on a little kid.

‘Saw you in the tank.’ The man jerked his head to the now empty tank, his smile going wider. ‘Lovely performance it was.’

‘Thank you.’ She pushed her away through the crowd, away from the man. She could feel his eyes on her, right up to the point where she ducked into the safety of a tent.

‘Get over it,’ she told herself angrily. The weather had changed towards evening, with heavy clouds and a rising wind forecasting a storm. It was getting colder, but she was reluctant to leave the tent for the moment and head back to hers. The man could be out there, waiting for her –

‘Iris?’

She whirled around, relief and embarrassment speedily replacing her anxiety. It was Jonas…so that would mean that she had taken refuge in his tent on accident. Between the devil and the deep blue sea, she thought wryly.

Jonas stared at her, uncertain and shy. She pretended to look out the window, feeling her face grow uncharacteristically warm. It was one of those Awkward Moments again, which usually didn’t happen between her and Jonas. It had never happened before, in fact.

‘Do you need a towel?’ he asked uncertainly. ‘I could – I have a few – I could lend you – ‘

‘Thanks.’ Iris kept her eyes on the window. ‘I’ll be leaving soon.’

‘It’s okay,’ Jonas said. ‘Here.’ He handed her a towel, keeping his eyes on her feet. ‘It’s cold out there. You can – er – stay here until you get warm – or – or something.’

‘Thank you.’ She felt extremely stupid. What would he think of her now? Here she was in his tent, alone, and still in her stupid mermaid costume. And she hadn’t even bothered to cover herself up against the cold. What would he think?

‘Is everything okay?’

‘What?’ She buried her face in the towel, still too embarrassed to look at him. ‘Yeah, it is.’

‘I saw this guy talking to you.’ Jonas shuffled from foot to foot, head down. ‘You didn’t look too happy, and he was – I don’t know – he looked like he didn’t mean any good.’

‘Yeah,’ Iris said, nodding. ‘I came here…because I thought he was watching me…’

‘I see.’ He cleared his throat and coughed lightly.

‘I think I’d better get back,’ she muttered. ‘My parents will be worried, and it’s getting dark. Erm, thanks for the towel.’ She looked up at then, finally, and spoke to the top of his head. ‘I promise I’ll bring this back to you cleaned and dried.’

‘Well,’ he said now, glancing up shyly, ‘I can walk you back if you like.’

Iris felt her face go warm again. ‘Oh that wouldn’t be necessary – ‘

‘Please, I don’t mind. You said there was that man – ‘

‘I’m sure he’s gone by now, there’s so many people about anyway –‘

‘Let me, really, I don’t mind – ‘

‘Thank you, Jonas, you’re being really kind, but I don’t think – ‘

‘I’m worried that he’ll do something,’ he mumbled, dropping his gaze. ‘I don’t have anything to do now, and it’s getting dark, and I don’t mind walking with you back to your tent.’

Iris leaned her head against the window and wished that she could bang her head against the glass, if only it could end this Awkward Moment and let it be forgotten for eternity. Jonas waited behind her, clenching and unclenching his toes out of nervousness.

‘Thank you,’ she said.

Jonas followed her out of the tent, into the smoky noisy twilight of the chill evening. Most of the day’s spectators had left by then, and the tanks and sets were being packed away. Iris kept her head down most of the way, very aware of the boy behind her. Just before they reached the gate leading into the next field and to her tent, however, she stopped.

‘I’m sorry for being such an arse to you,’ she said, looking Jonas in the eye. The boy ducked his head, blushing pink to bright red. She coughed, just to relieve the awkwardness, and continued. ‘Yes I have been a real arse…and I’m sorry for – for – oh I don’t know – for – aww man, this is awkward – is it as awkward for me as it is for you?’ she finished lamely.

Jonas nodded and grinned hugely. Even his ears were turning red.

Iris burst out laughing then. Jonas’s head came up, and he started giggling too. Several circus people passing by stared at them curiously, a few with knowing smiles. Iris leaned weakly against the gate, feeling her body go all jelly-like with mirth and relief.

‘Ye gawds,’ she gasped between giggles, ‘that was funny. I didn’t think that it would be so – so – awkward – ‘

‘Me too,’ Jonas said, clutching his tummy helplessly, ‘oh shit.’

‘That’s the first time I’ve heard you say shit!’ Iris yelled, banging her fist on the gate. ‘Oh that is too funny, way too funny…’

‘What’s wrong with that?’ Jonas looked completely bewildered, but a moment later he was on the ground, still giggling like a lunatic.

‘Iris?’

Katya loomed over them, as menacing as the grey clouds above. Iris pulled herself up, feeling that her knees were too shaky to support her weight now. Jonas rolled over and sat up, wiping grass and tears from his face. The older girl tossed her hair and sighed.

‘Aren’t you a fast worker, Iris?’ Katya turned to look at Jonas, who shriveled under the taunting stare. ‘Rolling round in fields now?’

‘Eff off, Katya,’ Iris snapped, marching over to her.

‘Tch.’ Katya crooked a finger and waggled it meaningfully. ‘You’d better be careful, Iris. A tree that bears fruit too early – ‘

‘Is a wormy and very naughty tree,’ Jonas cut in. ‘Yeah yeah, whatever. Now get lost and don’t bother us, aight?’

Iris stuck her tongue out at the other girl. Katya laughed – her laugh was somewhat of a trademark of hers, being oddly sweet and ironic all at once – and walked off, long red hair trailing artistically to her waist.

‘That was brilliant!’ Iris clapped and beamed. ‘Awesome, Jonas!’

‘It was nothing,’ he mumbled, blushing yet again. ‘Come on, I’d better take you back. My mum will be looking for me now.’

‘Mine too.’ Iris skipped through the gate, all thoughts of the man now vanishing into happy oblivion. ‘Thank you!’